there is a dark deep place within where we are anchored — where my love and your love are the one love, merged in infinite darkness without form — a cosmic womb from which all life emerges — there is a deep dark place within me that I wish so deeply to be known in — that I wish to meet the world from — wish to meet you from — and yet I am afraid for I am lost there — there is no me and you — nothing I could do or say would hold water — for I am the water — the everflowing waters of love that are proof unto themselves — so may we remember in those moments when our animals are ready to cut off their noses to prove that they bleed their own blood, ready to push out of each other’s arms to rest cold in the surety of separation — let us remember that only in the most obvious places are we separate — only on the surface do the ocean’s waves thrash in tantrum as they did this morning, again, playing with our naked bodies wrought with healthy fears — mostly, and inherited fears, ancient fears, animal fears — really, is this the life we want to live? — don’t we want to go to the bottom of the ocean, at least with our minds and our hearts? — to the dark deep still place thrumming with life oblivious to an unaffected by the surface stories — I want to live a mythical life in devotion to the mystery, not a life haunted by the unseen — I want to walk with the wonder of knowing that I don’t know all the secrets of the tree that’s on that pavement — a chrann, I saw them lay the concrete path at your feet but I don’t know when you rooted yourself in this patch of Aotearoa — I don’t know what you have seen, how many if any have hungied you but us — I don’t know your history but I revere it — I cannot see the ocean’s depths but I fear and revere them — I do not know the names of those small flowers with the full fragrance — I don’t know where that wandering old dog who roams the shore sniffing the flowers and marram grass sleeps at night — I am a cat looking through a keyhole — crippled by human inability to see it all — and yet there’s beauty in the boundaries of this human flesh — long as I can know that the most that I know is what I know nothing of — and that standing quietly in the depths of my wild unknown, my true north, will terrify others and lead them home.